[ Essek did not know what he expected however it had not been the squeeze to his hand that was offered so readily and wholly, this was a moment that would happen months later in the other timeline, fraught with burgeoning feelings from two men who were slowly understanding how to work together in a way that allowed for the each other in uncertain lives.
The fact that Caleb offered of himself so readily had the other man moved so irrecovobly; he could not draw his eyes from their hands forming a link and his mind was already tethered to the sound of those words in such a soothing accented voice. ]
I am ashamed now.. that I took advantage of the beacon to rid myself of an unwanted connection but I do not regret it-- if that makes sense, because it freed me of something distasteful, and perhaps it was the only route I could see at the time but.. in retrospect, I could never have been happy with him holding things over my head constantly. I did not love him, and I was 99 percent certain I could never learn that emotion where he was involved.
[ he did not love like he he loved the Nein, and Caleb specifically; oh, how this ginger wizard was precious to him and he lacked the words or the emotional wherewithal to convey it properly ]
There is much I do not know about the nature of love but I have been taught recently that I should expect better for myself where personal relationships are concerned.
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timeasmymeasure
Sorry Caleb, he wrote a lot
Date: 2023-08-12 01:04 pm (UTC)The fact that Caleb offered of himself so readily had the other man moved so irrecovobly; he could not draw his eyes from their hands forming a link and his mind was already tethered to the sound of those words in such a soothing accented voice. ]
I am ashamed now.. that I took advantage of the beacon to rid myself of an unwanted connection but I do not regret it-- if that makes sense, because it freed me of something distasteful, and perhaps it was the only route I could see at the time but.. in retrospect, I could never have been happy with him holding things over my head constantly. I did not love him, and I was 99 percent certain I could never learn that emotion where he was involved.
[ he did not love like he he loved the Nein, and Caleb specifically; oh, how this ginger wizard was precious to him and he lacked the words or the emotional wherewithal to convey it properly ]
There is much I do not know about the nature of love but I have been taught recently that I should expect better for myself where personal relationships are concerned.