Permissions

[ausgebrannt]

PLAYER

NAME: Daisy
CONTACT: seasided | seasided#5378
ACTIVE TIMES/PACE: US Eastern time. Most active during evenings and weekends.
BRACKETS/PROSE: Either or are fine
OFFENSIVE SUBJECTS & TRIGGERS: Warnings appreciated for extreme violence or gore, talk of sexual assault, suicide

IN CHARACTER

PHYSICAL AFFECTION: Absolutely. Caleb is terrible at it, but the man needs hugs.
PHYSICAL VIOLENCE: Yes please go for it. Caleb is physically not that strong, but more than makes up for it with magic.
RELATIONSHIPS: Caleb is a bisexual disaster, but he's socially awkward and has some trust issues, so it may take some time getting there. Happy to walk that path if the CR leads to it. Also open to casual flings if the CR goes that way.
PSYCHIC & PSIONIC INFORMATION: Absolutely up for psychic/telepath things. But let's chat first first. There's a lot of trauma landmines in Caleb's head.
MAGICAL INFORMATION: Caleb is a wizard. Be prepared for lots of magic. A lot of his offensive combat spells are fire-based.
MEDICAL INFORMATION: Skinny fragile wizard with scars, most notably on his forearms from being experimented on in his teens. Caleb also has significant PTSD.
OFFENSIVE SUBJECTS & TRIGGERS: Things/people burning can and will set off Caleb's PTSD. He also has no patience for people hurting or manipulating kids or defenseless people.

OUT OF CHARACTER

BACKTAGGING: Forever and always.
THREADHOPPING: Public network stuff, sure go for it
FOURTHWALLING: I'd prefer not
NOT INTERESTED IN: Nothing comes to mind

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

VISUAL: Caleb is a human of average height, just over five-foot-nine. His hair is a reddish brown, just above shoulder length, often pulled back into a ponytail. He goes from clean-shaven to scruff to a well-maintained beard from time to time, currently mostly a bit scruffy.
AURAL: Caleb's voice is a quiet baritone, with a light Zemnian accent (which sounds a great deal like German). He's soft spoken and hesitant, but can be downright ebullient when he gets on the subject of magic and books.
OLFACTORY: Contrary to rumor, Caleb no longer smells like he lives in a gutter. There is however, a lingering scent of smoke on him as well as the subtle scent of ink and paper.
DEMEANOUR: Caleb is an anxious thing, holds himself aloof and standoffish. There's usually a sense about him like he's not certain if he'll beat a retreat in the next moment.

☆ code by kimmiserate ☆

Comments

Labyrinthum App

[ausgebrannt]

CW: Mentions of torture, emotional abuse, physical abuse, death, murder

OOC INFORMATION
Player Name: Daisy
Pronoun Preferences: she/her
Contact: seasided or seasided @ discord
Are you over the age of 18?: I war born in the last millennium, friends.
Invitation Link: Friend of Chris
Current Characters: N/A
Link to Permissions: Here!

IC INFORMATION
Character Name: Caleb Widogast
Species: Human
Canon: Critical Role
Canon Point: C2: E140 - just after he (temporarily) dies
Character Age: 33
CRAU: Yes!
CRAU Explanation:
Caleb comes with about six months or so in Folkmore. During that time he learned a lot about himself, learned that he still had the capacity to love, to open his heart fully. He also learned that he could find belonging and camaraderie, and that his friendship with the Nein was not some strange miracle that they had accepted him despite it. His friends in Folkmore -- especially Peter, Vex, Vax, Keyleth, Sophie and Steve. They found out the worst of him and embraced him despite of it, or because of it. It has helped his confidence, though he still suffers from self doubt and still sinks into episodes of self loathing for the mistakes that he has made in his past.

He also had the chance to confront another version of himself, from a path that he could have taken if he had not failed Trent Ikithon's final test and had become a Scourger. Caleb did not like what he saw in that, and came to terms that for all the wrong he's done, he has managed to be better than the worst things that he's done. He isn't ready to forgive himself, but he's more intent on atoning as much as he can than ever.

He also has developed a major distrust for omnipotent-seeming beings who abduct people to new worlds with little to no warning. The Fox

Character Appearance:
Official Art

Caleb Widogast is a human man of average height. He's thin, though at least better fed than he was when he first met up with the Nein. He's also taken to keeping himself well groomed and is no longer a stinky dirt wizard. We call that character growth. He has reddish brown hair and blue eyes, is pale and covered in freckles -- a typical ginger. Caleb alternates between clean-shaven, vaguely scruffy stubble and a full beard. He has many small scars on both forearms from experiments/torture inflicted on him in his teens.

Powers and Abilities:
Regular Old Human Stuff
Oh god okay so. First! Caleb's non-magical talents include introspection and existential dread. Half kidding. But no, non-magically, Caleb has his keen mind. Caleb has an eidetic memory of things that he sees/hears/reads. He's also able to orient himself to North and can tell how many hours left before sunset/sunrise. He's also generally an intelligent man, at least book smarts. Social skills? Still a work in progress, but getting better.

Wizard Stuff
Magically, Caleb is a transmutation wizard. He specializes in magic that changes people/things/creatures from one thing into another (for example, polymorph that allows him to transform himself or other people into animals) and fire spells (what it says on the tin.) He also has a distinct interest in Dunamancy thanks to Essek's tutelage, and thus also has several spells that focus on gravity, time and possibility. His spells range from minor cantrips that he can cast at will with little trouble or effort (e.g. creating lights, sending messages across short distances) to large, complex spells that can create a bespoke demi-plan in the shape of a large elaborate tower.

For spells that are not cantrips, there are a limited number that he can cast each day before resting and recharging. Many of his spells are offensive in nature, and tend to have an association with fire. Others are defensive or more investigatory in nature. Each spell has its own requirements -- be that verbal components, somatic components or material components. Like all wizards, he has a spellbook in which all the spells he knows are recorded. He can prepare different spells each day, but he needs to have access to his spellbook in order to switch out what spells he has prepared.

A full breakdown of the spells Caleb knows are listed here

Eyes of Nine
At his current canon point, Caleb has gotten himself into some trouble and is gaining creepy magic tattoos that come with magic powers. Currently he has five of them, and the powers they grant him include: dark vision, the ability to see through illusions, short range telepathy with other marked individuals, the ability to see into the ethereal plane and the ability to look through the eye of another. (More info here.)

What Did Your Character Wish For? Caleb wished for Trent Ikithon to be stopped, so that he cannot do to other children what he did to Caleb and so many other promising young magic initiates.

What Potion Did They Receive? Red

Did They Drink It? Oh yes, pretty much immediately. Now he has fire power! Currently until it gets stronger, it's functioning a lot like the produce flame cantrip. He can call up fire in his hands, small flames. Enough to cause some damage if he's smart with it, but nothing like the fire spells he's used to casting. He already misses his wall of fire.

Character Questions:
1. Who is the person your character is most bonded with from their canon? Or who is someone they miss the most?
Caleb has bonded incredibly close with the rest of the Mighty Nein. Now that's not a single person answer, but he has come to see the group as a family. Though he started out being the most distrustful and the most ready to ditch the group for his own self interest, through time Caleb has become the one who seems the most concerned about keeping the party together, even through their toughest times. He loves and cares for them deeply. They've placed trust in him despite knowing the things that he's done.

Out of all the Nein, he is closest with Veth. He met the then-goblin when they were both in a small town jail and needed to stage a breakout. They began traveling together because it was mutually beneficial, but that utility very quickly became affection. Caleb has taught Veth magic and has created a spell specifically for her, to return her to her correct body. He trusts her fully, and she was one of the first that he opened up to about the sins of his past. For her part, Veth is very protective of Caleb and looks out for the sometimes hapless wizard.

Most recently, he's forged, broken, and then begun to reforge a bond with fellow wizard Essek Thelyss. The two men seem to understand one another on a deep intellectual level. Both are men who have fought with their own ambitions and hubris, and both are flawed men who have made mistakes that they are trying to atone for.

2. What are they most afraid of?
Caleb is terrified of his past. He's frightened of the terrible things he did under Trent Ikithon's guidance, abuse, and magical brainwashing, that he was capable of them. He did many terrible things, but the worst of it was murdering his parents after Ikithon twisted his memories. Their screams as they burned alive broke him entirely and he wound up in a state of catatonia for the next decade or so. He's frightened of people finding out and seeing him the way he sees himself, as irredeemable and a monster. Many of the things he does, his drive to learn magic, his goals all revolve around the sins of his past. Caleb also spent a long time terrified of Trent Ikithon finding him again, and did everything he could to avoid ever drawing his attention. More recently he has found himself having to face this fear down.

Caleb is plagued by severe anxiety attacks around this part of his life, when he is in fear of his past coming to light or catching up with him. He also has a freeze reaction when he sees anyone die by fire, still haunted by the trauma of hearing his parents die at the hands of his own fire.

3. What is their weakness? Emotionally, mentally and physically?
Emotionally - Caleb is a socially awkward, anxious, disaster of a man. The trauma of his past and a lost decade of being in a cell in a sanitarium have made for a twitchy, anxious, paranoid man. He used to be fairly outgoing and charismatic, and bit by bit pieces of who he could have been in better circumstances are beginning to shine through. However, Caleb still believes himself to be guilty of things that cannot be forgiven, though he is determined to atone as much as he can, regardless. He also has plans to undo those past mistakes, and this is another emotional weakness. He is obsessed with the past to the detriment of his present and future at times.

Mentally - Hubris and ambition. Caleb has been his own worse enemy ever since he was still Bren Aldric Ermendrud, driven by the obsessive need for knowledge and magical understanding. He is very greedy for books and scrolls and magical items, though he has gotten better about sharing these days.

Physically - He's a wizard. A strong enough breeze could blow him over. He has zero physical fighting skills. None. The thing he is best at doing in battle, aside from casting spells, is falling unconscious. He's really good at it.

4. What would make them happiest?
In a perfect world, Caleb knows that the people he loves most are safe and sound and happy. This includes the Nein and their families, and more recently Essek Thelyss. In an even more perfect world, Caleb succeeds in his plans and goes back in time to save his parents from his younger self and reunites with them -- but he has begun to question this, begun to wonder if meddling in the past is just more of his ambition getting the better of him. But oh it's still in his plans, still on his mind.

More specifically, when Caleb was younger, he wanted to be a professor of magic to teach young wizards magic. He'd be very happy in a quiet life doing exactly that, if he can get to the point where he actually believes he deserves happiness. That's still a barrier he's yet to overcome entirely.

5. What’s their type for a lover?
Someone who can meet him on an intellectual level is definitely something Caleb finds attractive. He's a nerd. A huge nerd. He's also drawn to people who can match his dedication in some way or another. His first relationship was with his two fellow Scourger-trainees. Some of this may have been trauma bonding, but the affection and care were real. Even after years of not seeing Astrid and Eadwulf, he still cares about them despite the very different paths that they walked. Astrid and Eadwulf were equally talented and obsessive over their magical studies and their devotion to the Empire and the ideals that Ikithon purported to support.

He develops a crush on Jester as well, and while she is not the bookish nerd type, there is a kindness and light in her that Caleb seems to have been drawn to. She also is exceptionally dedicated to her friends and to the Traveler and the chaos that that ensues. I think for Caleb, Jester is a sort of breath of fresh air, entirely different from anyone else he's ever known. But there's also a deep loneliness in her that Caleb understands very well.

But it does come back to that shared dedication and thirst for knowledge that seems to draw him in. Canonly, he winds up in a relationship with another wizard, Essek Thelyss. The two men share a past full of mistakes they wish to undo and atone for. Coupled with that intellectual connection, they build a strong relationship. That intellectual connection and someone who can challenge him seem to be what really draws Caleb in.

Samples: TDM Top Level & Threads