[Caleb could feel himself sitting up just a bit straighter at the tone and the change in Essek's bearing, not consciously realizing that he's doing it. It's just a reflexive response.]
That... yes, I suppose you are right at that.
[The touch of the handkerchief was startling, but Caleb only leaned into it. The scent familiar and sweet, and he breathed out a sheepish laugh.]
I am sorry. My emotions seem to have the better of me. But... good. I would very happily be stuck with you. And you are very much stuck with us, ja? There will be no help for it.
You are fine, I am merely fulfilling a need that you clearly have.. [ Until Caleb was back with the rest of the Nein again, and he would no longer be needed, he did not want to think about that ] and that is to assure you that you are worthy and that you still have things to fight for.
[ He settled the handkerchief against the table then, within reaching distance in case Caleb needed it again, and then he picked up his glass of wine to finish it. ] You do not have to apologize for anything Caleb, you really should apologize to yourself for being so unkind.
[ A squeeze of that hand, comforting and cool to counter the warmth of Caleb's own touch ]
If you cannot be kind to yourself, then I will step in and be kind to you, and you will have no choice but to accept it. [ Would Caleb deny Essek? ]
And what need can I fulfil for you in return? You are a dear friend, and if it's in my power, it is yours.
[It was an easy promise to make, given that it was something he very much wanted to do. Essek was important to him, so very important. Things had become complicated between them, but somehow Caleb thought they'd grown closer for it, the understanding of two deeply flawed, lonely men.]
I am... a luckier man than I knew, I think. Thank you.
[He reached for the handkerchief to dab at his cheeks once more, and then kept it held in his fingers.]
[ How to tell Caleb that he did not wish for Caleb to give him anything, that he was not offering Caleb this in exchange for anything. Caleb had every molecule of his care and consideration, he did not need to offer anything up in exchange, except that Essek could orbit around that artificial sun that was Caleb's smile. He glanced off to the side, it was flicker, some unreadable emotion for a moment catching hold like a lightning bug. ]
You have promised that while we are here, we will have each other's backs, that is fine. As well as conversations with you, like this.
[ He liked this, having a drink with the other wizard as if things like this were normal; not having to worry about eyes on them or teasings. Just the luxury of Caleb's company that was offered freely ]
I may have grown up a rich boy from the Dynasty, but moments like these are rare for me and I.. like them.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2023-08-14 02:26 am (UTC)That... yes, I suppose you are right at that.
[The touch of the handkerchief was startling, but Caleb only leaned into it. The scent familiar and sweet, and he breathed out a sheepish laugh.]
I am sorry. My emotions seem to have the better of me. But... good. I would very happily be stuck with you. And you are very much stuck with us, ja? There will be no help for it.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-14 02:43 am (UTC)[ He settled the handkerchief against the table then, within reaching distance in case Caleb needed it again, and then he picked up his glass of wine to finish it. ] You do not have to apologize for anything Caleb, you really should apologize to yourself for being so unkind.
[ A squeeze of that hand, comforting and cool to counter the warmth of Caleb's own touch ]
If you cannot be kind to yourself, then I will step in and be kind to you, and you will have no choice but to accept it. [ Would Caleb deny Essek? ]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-14 03:27 am (UTC)[It was an easy promise to make, given that it was something he very much wanted to do. Essek was important to him, so very important. Things had become complicated between them, but somehow Caleb thought they'd grown closer for it, the understanding of two deeply flawed, lonely men.]
I am... a luckier man than I knew, I think. Thank you.
[He reached for the handkerchief to dab at his cheeks once more, and then kept it held in his fingers.]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-14 06:15 pm (UTC)You have promised that while we are here, we will have each other's backs, that is fine. As well as conversations with you, like this.
[ He liked this, having a drink with the other wizard as if things like this were normal; not having to worry about eyes on them or teasings. Just the luxury of Caleb's company that was offered freely ]
I may have grown up a rich boy from the Dynasty, but moments like these are rare for me and I.. like them.