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[ausgebrannt]

Caleb Widogast.
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: The Undoing of Wizards :

[zauberdecke]

[ The sun has set over the horizon, and that being said Essek has allowed the drapes to his room to be drawn so as to start letting in the evening light. He had insisted on a room that did not get the morning sun, afternoon sun usually was a bit more forgiving to him. And so he was stood in front of a mirror in his room getting ready, all the while his mind was floating through the texts that he had received from Caleb Widogast, and even more importantly 'what they could mean'.

He was a man who had very little in terms of emotional connection to anyone or anything. Normally his logic stepped in and handled things, it was how he had survived his stint with Adeen, it was how he got on in Court. Distancing his logic from his feelings so that they were two very separate entities, except now-- he felt as if his feelings were magnetized into something strange and new.

Was he aware that Caleb was in the room next to him? There was never a point in time where he wasn't. The only reason he had not pestered Caleb more often then not was because, it was pestering-- wasn't it? There was what lingered between them and a hesitance bourne of not wanting to mess things up between them and the friendship that they had gained.

And thus he stood from a distance like a cat who wanted to claim the person but did not quite have enough courage to do so quite yet, hoping that the wizard would get the hint and perhaps approach so he could do something shameful like rub himself against those legs, or beg for attention (that is theoretically if Essek was a 'cat' per se-- might be a bit awkward otherwise). He did not know what to do though, which was the thing. How did one let a wizard know that he was in to him?

'It's complicated'-- the words that came back to haunt him, and how he had played confused, but how he had anything but confused with what the words meant.

Carefully he worked a comb through his curls, arranging them and perhaps cursing a bit in Undercommon that he could not use prestidigitate to neaten them up, perhaps that is why they appeared far more unkept than normal-- it could have also been the humidity too. ]

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[Caleb Widogast spent more time in front of the mirror than he had done in a very long time. But between the unfortunate weather -- there were no actual clothes cool enough for this heat -- and the company he would be keeping, he had actually put some thought into his sartorial choices for the night. His hair was gathered up into a manbun high enough that it kept it off his neck, even if several pieces around his face refused to be tamed back. He'd left the coat, for once, instead sticking to a simple pair of trousers and a pale cream colored linen shirt, rolled to his elbows, and unbuttoned low enough that there was an unmistakable peek of copper chest hair.

Caleb had read over their conversation several times since they'd had it, spent more time than he would like to admit staring at the wall that separated their rooms.

He shook his head at his reflection and tried a brief smile, grimacing at his awkward reflection and turning away. Well. It wouldn't do to linger here and keep Essek Thelyss waiting. The short trek from his door to Essek's took less than a minute, and he straightened up, drew out of the habitual, nervous slouch and lifted a hand to knock, taking a step back and awkwardly trying to decide what to do with his hands -- coming to the final decision to clasp them in front of himself, as he waited.]

[zauberdecke]

[ the knock sounded like a gong and that jostled himself out of his reverie, glancing over his shoulder and then used a split second to do one more arrange with the comb before finally he walked (with such trepidation) to the door and placed his hand on the knob. A turn and then he pulled it open to reveal the wizard-- Caleb. A smile that was hesitant, just the peek of fang pressed against the corner of his lip as he assessed the figure that Caleb made.

His eyes alit upon a collarbone and then downward to freckles, further still until--

Oh my.

His eyes attempted to backpedal at a record speed. Caleb's eyes were up there, he had to remember that, lest he once again take the scenic route. The expression was no better, that manbun caught haphazardly with a few locks frizting out of its confines. ]

You look very nice Caleb Widogast..

[ and nice would have to suffice because he was not sure if it was proper to call a friend 'delicous', people were not cupcakes-- no matter what Jester said to the otherwise. ]

Are you ready? I have everything that is required. [ and yes, Essek was wearing the outfit he'd shown on the network-- though they fit much nicer on himself than a dress dummy ]

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[That smile, hesitant or not, drew a smile in return from Caleb. He fought the urge to immediately reach out, and instead smoothed his hands down along his shirt in an almost self-conscious gesture at the compliment. He'd spent perhaps a bit too long wrapped in rags and trying to go unnoticed, and to be noticed by Essek was... it was good.

Essek wasn't the only one who had to compose himself and remind himself not to let his gaze wander too much. He had, in many ways, been given a warning of what would be awaiting him via the post the dunamancer had made on the network, and yet here he was defenseless against it.]

You look stunning.

[The words were out before he fully realized that he'd intended to speak them. They were true, though.]

I am ready, ja. [He offered his arm.] Shall we?

[zauberdecke]

[ Stunning?

That was a very new development, but not unwelcome. He was used to being called 'hot boi' by the Nein, he'd grown used to the mantle of it and the expectation that was attached to it. Expectations that he managed in his own way, making sure that he was not caught unaware or at a disadvantage (only twice it had happened, once in Nicodranas, the other at Eiselcross when they had revealed the Assembly's plans and he'd physically felt the clock start to tick on his own life.

An incline of acknowledgement, knowing not else how to react to it as he placed his palm lightly on a forearm; the palm was cool to counter the heat within Caleb's own body and at the point where they met, it came nearly tolerable perhaps. Both their mutual powers of fire and ice neutralizing to create a comfort ]

Indeed we shall, I look forward to a drink shared with you.

[ Essek decided in this moment that he was going to act like he belonged here on Caleb Widogast's arm, despite the fact that he found himself intensely self-conscious. He, who had never felt such a way for a single moment of his life, was now finding what it felt like on the arm of a very handsome Transmutation Wizard. ]

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['Hot boi' was very accurate, of course, or at least the sentiment was. Caleb would not have chosen those exact words, but there was no helping what stuck. There were certain very convincing members of the Mighty Nein. One typically did not win arguments with Jester or Veth.

The cool touch of that hand was certainly welcome -- almost welcome enough that Caleb started to forget about Essek likely being able to feel as well as see his scars. Almost. He at least was able to stuff that anxiety back far enough that it was more background noise than anything else.]

As am I. There is a tavern I have found to have a decent enough atmosphere. It is not too far, so we should manage to avoid too much melting.

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[ There was ridges against his fingertips, curious ridges however he attempted not to focus on it. He did not gape nor did he gawk over such things. Poised, he was poised as he remembered that no one enjoyed being stared at. Not even himself-- but the light of maybe-appreciation that came to Caleb's eyes for a brief second had registered a warmth within him. ]

You will likely not be surprised that I have never been to a tavern before.

[ a note of chagrin came to his voice. ]

Have I overdressed?

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[The Zemnian wizard hummed a thoughtful sound.]

I am not shocked, no.

[A bit of a smile as he glanced over to him, eyes traveling up and down the length of him once more. That outfit is... well, Caleb will not easily forget it. But right he's looking because Essek asked a question. That's definitely why.]

Nein. Not at all. But even if you are, do not worry. You are with me, and I am scruffy enough for both of us.

[zauberdecke]

You are not so scruffy as you were when we first met, Caleb Widogast.

[ Even though he did miss the Xhorhas garments on Caleb, the purple on him looked very good-- certainly he had enjoyed the wizard's metamorphosis though to be honest, Essek's eyes had been drawn long before that, to the very first moment ]

Though I could make you some clothing, some lighter weight things for this weather. [ And Essek would not even charge the wizard, of course he would not-- that was called preferential treatment and he had long since understood that he did play favorites. ] I would have to take your measurements, naturally.

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That is very true.

[Caleb admits with a laugh. He was still deep in his hobo era when the Nein first arrived in Rosohna. It had been something of a turning point for him in a way, the first start of figuring out who he wanted to be.]

Oh? You would do that?

[Caleb perks right up. He's been making do, but it would be really nice to have some more seasonably appropriate options.]

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Jester and Company would never let me live it down if I did not take care of you appropriately.

[ Was that a tease that came from Essek? He tilted his head to the side and glanced over at Caleb's profile, the strong zemnian nose, the freckled skin. A man very much unlike anyone he'd ever encountered in the Dynasty, but handsome for those differences. ]

And if you insist on doing something to pay me back, as I know you will-- perhaps we may investigate this place together, work as a team to infiltrate any mysteries that this Overseer throws our way. [ His palm very lightly patted against the forearm that he had taken ] There is after all no one else I would rather have on my side.

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Yes well, that goes for you as well, mm? I would be severely scolded if I let you go uncared for. Of course, I would not forgive myself for it either.

[Caleb teased right back, sneaking a glance over at Essek in turn. Well, he would have insisted on paying him back, so this worked for him.]

I would like that, I... [He stills at those last words, feeling a heat rise in his cheeks. Oh.] Ja, it is the same for me.

[zauberdecke]

[ The lights of the tavern started to rise up in the distance. Good thing too for Essek could feel warmth also flood the cheeks at the answer from Caleb. And how he tried not to feel self-conscious about it, the acceptance of working together as a team while they were here. He wondered if they would remember anything of this.. if they returned.

Essek knew he would like to remember these moments they were sharing. He wanted to remember that perfect afternoon with the setting sun as they exchanged pearls. The laughter and the splashing, and yes even this where they were a little more restrained but with a warm hesitancy-- he did not want to forget this either. ]

Then we shall endeavor to take care of each other so that we do not get scolded, I promise you Caleb that I will take care of you so well that no one shall find fault with it.

[ Well he just said that, didn't he; perhaps he was not aware exactly how it came out sounding. ]

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[It was the right choice. Caleb knew that to begin with, but it was made even more certain by the warmth suffusing its way through him now. Even if they were not in this place, caught alone together in a strange and confusing world, well, it would be the right choice.

He hoped they remembered this too, if only for the way that Essek looked in that moment, this tentative playfulness and warmth between them.]

I am sure you will do a better job of it than I have done myself.

[As they approached the tavern, he quickened his step enough so that he could hold the door open for Essek to head inside.]

[zauberdecke]

With the way that you acted in the Genesis Ward, you need someone to take care of you.

[ A faint raise of his brow in surprise at how Caleb quickened his pace to hold open the door. Though another smile, this one softer even as he brought his own hand to tuck some of his rather frizzed locks out of his eyes and started inside; if he wasn't with Caleb then likely he would have cursed his lack of magic. Right now, there was no where that he'd rather be and magic was inconsequential.

Once inside, he stepped quickly toward one of the tables in the corner, off to the side-- he certainly did not want to be at the forefront of everything. There were other people in the tavern gathered to socialize underneath the warm evening, he just did not want attention drawn to the two of them.

Without his magic, he felt ridiculously vulnerable now, he could not pull out a chair with mage hand or prestidigitate his hair back into place. Little things that he took for granted. ]

It is rather amazing how much we rely on magic, us wizards.

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[Caleb's eyes widened at those words, feeling heat flush through his face once more.]

I can't imagine what you mean.

[He fully knew what Essek meant, of course. He'd been more than a little distracted at the time. Off task, and he was fortunate it hadn't been worse.

Following Essek to the back table, he was grateful that the other man had chosen a place out of the way, tucked into the back.]

It is, isn't it? It feels a bit like missing a limb, some intrinsic part of myself.

[He took a seat and admitted, quietly.] I feel a bit defenseless. It's daunting.

[zauberdecke]

[ It was also placed in such a way that the two men could see who entered. It was not a defenseless position, for two men for the time being bereft of their magic and their spellbooks, it was the best that they could do. ]

It is very uncomfortable, I have not been this without magic since before the Marble Tomes Conservatory 80 years ago.

[ Once again he realized he was showing his age; he settled down in the chair, crossing one leg over the other. A barmaid was quick to come over and he quickly and quietly ordered a glass of wine, it was barely a blip in the conversation ]</small. When we are wizards, we rather make magic our 'thing' and we build ourselves around that, I suppose it puts things into perspective.

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[Caleb murmured a quiet 'the same for me, please' when the barmaid appeared. His attention barely strayed from Essek though, enthralled by the drow as sure as if an enchantment had been cast on him, even if magic was beyond both of them now.

He didn't bother to hold back an amused quirk of his lips.]

And change is very hard for old men, ja, Großvater?

[More seriously, he ducked his head in a nod.] It does at that. But I have seen similar, when Fjord was abruptly cut off from his powers. In the end, I think he was a stronger man for having lived through it. And I think he lived through it by relying on his friends. Perhaps there is a lesson there for both of us.

[zauberdecke]

[ Grandfather, that caused Essek to chuckle though he hid it behind the palm of his hand-- there was little doubt that he was amused, completely and thoroughly. It came in the way that the firelight caught in his eyes for the briefest of moments, illuminating all of the gold flecks there much like a cat's. ]

I am not used to relying on anyone, or I have not.. til you and the Nein.

[ He folds his hands together then, flexing perfectly manicured fingertips hesitantly ] Not even my brother whom I do care for, far more than I have ever for my family. [ Essek knew he was revealing quite a bit now to this man before him but he knew that he trusted him ]

Caleb Widogast, I am not consecuted. [ at least not that he was aware of, he had never underwent formal consecution ] I am a new soul and so I have had to use magic as a mantle of strength-- new souls are not respected, not as much as souls that have come down the line to return to the fold.

[ He thought back to Adeen ] Did you know that when I first met you and the Nein in the Bright Queen's audience chambers, I was engaged to be married?

[ausgebrannt]

[That chuckle, hidden or not, had been what Caleb had hoped for. He barely reasoned that he was smiling himself, the expression reaching sky blue eyes and crinkling them at the corners. It was a good look on the drow, to see him at ease enough to laugh. But the Zemnian wizard's expression softens as Essek continues speaking.

This was certainly a display of vulnerability that Caleb had not seen in the other man before. His eyes widened faintly. Even that small piece of knowledge, it explained so much about Essek, about a man who felt the need to wrap himself in power and hold himself apart as something unassailable, untouchable, to push the boundaries of what was possible.

Of choices made that had set so many things into motion.

Caleb reached out to settle his hands atop Essek's.]

I was not used to relying on anyone either, until I met them. They have that effect on people. And you are ours now, Essek Thelyss.

[Ours was safer -- and truer, Caleb conceded to himself -- than mine, so it would have to do for the moment. There was no hiding the surprise on his face at that last piece of information.]

I did not, no. Then you have a fiancé waiting for you back home?

[And why did that make his stomach twist unpleasantly?]

[zauberdecke]

[ It was best to lay this on the table. The weight of Caleb's warm hands, calloused-- was comforting to Essek and he inhaled a bit; perhaps this was the last bit of secrets between them and one that he was going to lay in the palm of Caleb's hands, let him choose what to do with the information ]

My betrothal was arranged; it was to a consecuted soul. A drow whom was previously of Den Thelyss; it was their way to usher the Drow back into the fold, through a marriage. But drow alliances are always complicated.. and political. He was eager to get back to the Den and lost no time in reminding me that the Den was his rightful place and not mine.

[ The wine glasses came, were set down and he cast a single glass to it before he leveled his gaze to the other wizard ]

We are not betrothed anymore as the Den would never allow me to marry a traitor.

[ His voice halted over the next name ]

Adeen Tasithar.

[ He used the beacons to escape a betrothal; but also.. the words that Jester had spoken to Essek about Adeen being a nasty piece of work, and Essek agreeing with her-- that he was something. That made sense too ]

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[Caleb was quiet, letting the other man speak. He did not want to interrupt, wanted to know all that Essek wished to tell him. It felt like he was begin given something precious here, in the telling of this piece of the other's life.

Another widening of his eyes as the story concluded with a name he recognized. The one that Essek had set up to take the fall for the missing beacons. A nasty piece of work, he did remember that discussion. Caleb's fingers hand tightened about Essek's hand, even if Caleb himself did not consciously realize he'd done it.]

I cannot pretend to understand Kryn culture. I barely manage Zemnian culture. But... for what it is worth, I believe you deserve far better than to be promised away for politics. New souls, old souls, again that is not something I know. But I do know that you are remarkable. I have never known a sharper, more brilliant mind.

[Or a more achingly flawed heart that wanted to see itself better than it had been. The part of Essek that reminded Caleb far too much of himself, his mistakes.]

Sorry Caleb, he wrote a lot

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek did not know what he expected however it had not been the squeeze to his hand that was offered so readily and wholly, this was a moment that would happen months later in the other timeline, fraught with burgeoning feelings from two men who were slowly understanding how to work together in a way that allowed for the each other in uncertain lives.

The fact that Caleb offered of himself so readily had the other man moved so irrecovobly; he could not draw his eyes from their hands forming a link and his mind was already tethered to the sound of those words in such a soothing accented voice. ]

I am ashamed now.. that I took advantage of the beacon to rid myself of an unwanted connection but I do not regret it-- if that makes sense, because it freed me of something distasteful, and perhaps it was the only route I could see at the time but.. in retrospect, I could never have been happy with him holding things over my head constantly. I did not love him, and I was 99 percent certain I could never learn that emotion where he was involved.

[ he did not love like he he loved the Nein, and Caleb specifically; oh, how this ginger wizard was precious to him and he lacked the words or the emotional wherewithal to convey it properly ]

There is much I do not know about the nature of love but I have been taught recently that I should expect better for myself where personal relationships are concerned.

NEVER BE SORRY

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb found he did not like the idea at all, of Essek being bound to such a man who viewed him as a means to an end, who viewed him as lesser simply for the fact of being a new soul. No, he could not begrudge Essek ridding himself of that sentence for crimes that were never crimes to begin with, the crime of simply being born anew and unencumbered by lives previously lived.

His hand remained where it was. Essek had not flinched, had not pulled away, and Caleb felt no need to put any distance between them. It had been a leap in its way. There had been momentary touches before of course, lips to a forehead, heads pressed briefly together, small pieces of something that they had only tentatively begun to build. This touch, lingering as it was, he thought might be the first stone in a foundation.

Rather than squeezing this time, a calloused thumb brushed along the back of a palm.]

You deserve better. You deserve someone who will love you for all that you are, not judge you for what you are not. And you are so many things, Essek.

[And Caleb -- he did not put enough stake in the gods to ask them to help him -- knew so many of those things, fostered those fragile first blossoms of love as they came into flower for each and every one. What a dangerous place to be, a garden growing in a heart that he had long thought was consigned to being no more than a graveyard.]

[zauberdecke]

[ And Essek did not know precisely what he did not deserve because all of his value had been on things that in the long game had never truly mattered to begin with. Value in knowledge, in prestige, in his position and the facade that he carefully cultivated-- for the most part truth except there had always been a part of himself that had longed to be less lonely.

The touch, the finger brush against his palm-- coolness of his palms from the ice magic that flowed through them hit the heat from Caleb's own warmer hands.

And so the touch was comfortable, the warmth a herald to something-- and gardens often times came with the thawing of winter, for that was when the blooms started to grow. It was a thawing and a growing, for each other ]

Have you learned to take your own advice, Caleb Widogast? [ He inclined his head to the side even as he shifted his hand to settle their hands palm to palm with his fingers against a wrist, his other hand reached for his wine glass to pick it up, settling it against his lips ] I have heard stories from Jester about how you do not think you deserve nice things.

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[The turn of that hand against his, so that his fingertips rested against that slender wrist, the faint flutter of a pulse beneath his touch. And Caleb knew his own pulse was likely quickened by the moment.

He couldn't hide the surprise on his face at the question. Ah. Well, yes, Jester saw through him by now. He knew that. But he would not have guessed that he would have been a topic to come up between the cleric and Essek.

Stalling, he took his own drink, a long sip before he managed a sheepish lift of his shoulders.]

It is less that I think it so much that it is the unfortunate truth. I am not a good man.

[zauberdecke]

[ Jester was perceptive likely, and knew what was brewing between the two men underneath the surface. Also, she loved to run interference-- it was what she did. She would talk up Caleb because she saw the way that Essek looked at the ginger, just as she attempted to draw attention to the fact that Essek was watching Caleb.

Their cleric of chaos was a wise bean definitely.

By definition, they were holding hands and it felt nice, the weight of fingers and palms-- and Essek only barely wanted to dwell on how intimate that was for wizards; hair for drow and hands for wizards.

Instead he persued this path, setting the glass down as he licked the taste of wine from his lower lip ]

You taught me that venom can be drawn out, and I refuse to believe that no one who cares for their friends so deeply as you do, does not have a mote of goodness in themselves with which to call forth.

[ This time Essek did fix his gaze on Caleb, the wine fortifying on his lips and took another sip, eyes meeting Caleb's over crystal while he waited for what Caleb would say to that. ] You know that you are my example of how I want to start living my life.

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[Another sip of his own wine and he looked back to Essek, meeting that gaze with his own. That meant that it would be impossible for Essek to miss the way blue eyes snapped wide as the drow spoke.]

If there is some bit of goodness in me, it is because of them that it is still alive.

[He could have lost himself too easily in his terror and anger and need for revenge, could have let it consume anything that was left of his soul. Instead he'd fallen in with that group of utter misfits and found the new family he knew he did not deserve but that he loved dearly, would give his life for.]

You should have better standards for your examples but... I will try to live up to that expectation. I am trying to be a better man. And I do not want to let you down.

[His fingertips trailed up along the inside of Essek's wrist, a soft but meaningful touch.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Thankfully for Caleb's keen mind, he likely won't even miss the way that a flush crosses over the bridge of Essek's nose and makes the star freckles slightly more prominent; the direct result of a finger brushed casually against wrist, meaningful and he had to take a sip of his wine to clear his throat, eyes darting toward the side though his own fingers twitched ever so slightly against the wrist, inadvertently touching a slender scar there.

Fortifying indeed, the wine slid down and he could feel the warmth pool.

When he spoke, his own voice was only a trifle unsteady but that may be the wine ]

Großvater is quite capable of choosing his examples, young man. [ A tone of voice that was trying to be admonishing but instead only came out as flustered. Did nerd wizard #1 just land a winning blow against nerd wizard #2? ]

[ausgebrannt]

[He won't miss it and he will never forget it, because it is a tremendously pretty picture. There's an errant thought of lifting that hand to his lips and following the touch of his fingers with a kiss, but that he knew was a bridge too far. He was already overstepping himself, pushing the boundaries of what he was allowed.

A shiver raced across his skin, a thrill that set a rush through him at the mimicked touch of those lavender fingers along an old scar. With a smile pulling at his lips, he nodded.]

This is true. I should not question my elders when they clearly know better.

[He hesitated though, uncertain.] Though... it would be fairer for you to actually know the truth of me, of the evil I have done, before you did your choosing.

[There was vulnerability in blue eyes as he looked down to his drink.] Would you hear it? The story of who I was before I was Caleb Widogast?

[zauberdecke]

[ The dunamancer had an idea built of little hints here and there; he knew that it involved Volstruckers, had seen it in the Dungeon of Penance. Caleb had seen him at his worst, and Essek was mindful that this was trust in all of it's beautiful simplicity, and gods to see those eyes fall down to the glass made his heart ache in such an undefinable way.

Although he did not know how to offer comfort, still he shifted his hand to twine their fingers together-- instinctively offering that in a gesture that was perhaps more intimate, but also a show of strength and of care. ]

I will hear your story.. [ But he would not be judge and juror, he knew that he was not qualified for that and likewise he did not want to pass judgement on him, and he rather thought that Caleb judged himself more harshly than anyone elee could ]

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[Caleb did not expect the joining of their hands, but he was grateful for the connection and curled his fingers gentle back against Essek's. The hold was light, in case the other man felt the need to draw back as he heard the tale of Caleb's past.

Caleb would not hold it against him.]

Bren Aldric Ermendrud. That was the name I was born with. My parents were not wealthy people, and we lived a simple life. They were good people, and they raised me with love. I loved them very much.

[He still does, near as much as he hates himself.] When I was a teenager, I was selected to attend the Soltryce Academy to study magic. I excelled there, and along with two other students, I caught the attention of a man named Trent Ikithon, a mage who sits on the Cerberus Assembly.

[A name that Essek knows.] I was trained as a Scourger, a Volstrucker. I excelled at this too. I learned to torture and to kill for the good of an Empire I was young and naive enough to believe in the idealistic version of.

[He reached his free hand to trace along the scars visible on his forearms.] Trent's methods for training were not kind. We were isolated and tortured ourselves. Residuum forced into our bodies to augment our arcane abilities. All for the good of the Empire.

[Bitterness has crept into his voice, but it gives way to quiet grief as he continues.] The final test, our graduation, was the cruelest. He altered our memories with magic, false memories of our families being traitors to the Empire. And we were tasked with killing them, to prove our loyalty.

[He cannot meet Essek's gaze any longer and his eyes drop away.]

I was seventeen when I murdered my mother and my father. I lit our home on fire with them inside. But I did not pass Trent's test. The sound of their screams broke something in me, something that rebelled against Trent's magical lies. I spent the next decade locked away, physically and mentally, discarded because I was a broken thing, no use to Ikithon or the Assembly. If the shattered enchantment had not been removed from my mind by a fellow inmate at the Sanitarium, I would likely be there still.

So that is who I am. A murderer who has killed those most dear to me, whose only mistake was loving me. A broken weapon that never should have been forged.

[zauberdecke]

[ As much as Essek wished that he could profess any sort of surprise of that which Caleb told him, he wasn't. Not the moment that Trent Ikithon was mentioned and he felt that gnawing 'dread' in the pit of his stomach where his.. where Caleb was concerned. And his fingers, instead of drawing away, squeezed tighter as if to press upon the point that this was a safe harbor, that Essek was safe no matter what that meant.

The murder and the subterfuge, the insidious mind tricks, the guilt and the recriminations that Caleb likely put himself through every second of every minute of every hour of the day.

But Essek could spot the difference. He had chosen his hubris whereas Caleb was manipulated-- now this was not a who committed the bigger sin, but Essek could not legitimately see where any of what happened could be laid on Caleb's shoulders. ]

Well, Caleb Widogast [ He spoke that name as a reminder to the other man of who he has become and not who he had been ] I will not be your judge and juror; I can tell you though that you were a young man and there were parts of you that had not developed yet and all I can see is that you were taken advantage of by those in power. You are no longer Bren Ermendrud, you have risen like the Phoenix and I know, as well as the rest of the Nein, that you will never let that happen again and that it will become your life's mission.

[ His voice lowered to a whisper ]

That does not make you a man worth recriminations, it makes you a man worthy of care and consideration.

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb had bared this secret to the Nein, to other friends, others he has cared for, and always he was torn between the fear of how it would change how they looked at him, and the certainty that it would be what he deserved.

And here was Essek, holding to his hand even as the confessions of sins spilled from his lips.

He wanted to argue that he did not deserve the kindness, that he deserved to be turned away and shunned for the wrongs he had done, demand it even. But he was too weak a man to turn it away, wanted too much to be cared for, to be allowed to care in turn.

Those last words spilled the gathering tears from his eyes and he looked up.]

You mean that, don't you? I should argue, but I am not a strong enough man to turn away that kindness. You are important to me, and I do not wish to give that up. Thank you.

[zauberdecke]

[ The Shadowhand came out then, imperious and queen-like. The sort of persona that brooked no arguments, it was easy to hold it like a mantle and also he rather thought that Caleb would respond well to it. ]

You are wrong, a weak man turns away kindness.. and a strong man learns when it is appropriate to accept it for what it is.

[ Caleb Widogast, what a beautiful scarred man. Essek did not have those fears and retributions burned so deeply inside them; they were there but they had not left an imprint. He longed to do so much more, instead he fished out a scented handkerchief and he leaned over to dab at the tops of Caleb's cheeks lightly with something that was remisicent of lavender and snow. ]

We do not have to give each other up, in fact you and the Nein have ensured that you are effectively stuck with me for better and for worse.

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb could feel himself sitting up just a bit straighter at the tone and the change in Essek's bearing, not consciously realizing that he's doing it. It's just a reflexive response.]

That... yes, I suppose you are right at that.

[The touch of the handkerchief was startling, but Caleb only leaned into it. The scent familiar and sweet, and he breathed out a sheepish laugh.]

I am sorry. My emotions seem to have the better of me. But... good. I would very happily be stuck with you. And you are very much stuck with us, ja? There will be no help for it.

[zauberdecke]

You are fine, I am merely fulfilling a need that you clearly have.. [ Until Caleb was back with the rest of the Nein again, and he would no longer be needed, he did not want to think about that ] and that is to assure you that you are worthy and that you still have things to fight for.

[ He settled the handkerchief against the table then, within reaching distance in case Caleb needed it again, and then he picked up his glass of wine to finish it. ] You do not have to apologize for anything Caleb, you really should apologize to yourself for being so unkind.

[ A squeeze of that hand, comforting and cool to counter the warmth of Caleb's own touch ]

If you cannot be kind to yourself, then I will step in and be kind to you, and you will have no choice but to accept it. [ Would Caleb deny Essek? ]

[ausgebrannt]

And what need can I fulfil for you in return? You are a dear friend, and if it's in my power, it is yours.

[It was an easy promise to make, given that it was something he very much wanted to do. Essek was important to him, so very important. Things had become complicated between them, but somehow Caleb thought they'd grown closer for it, the understanding of two deeply flawed, lonely men.]

I am... a luckier man than I knew, I think. Thank you.

[He reached for the handkerchief to dab at his cheeks once more, and then kept it held in his fingers.]

[zauberdecke]

[ How to tell Caleb that he did not wish for Caleb to give him anything, that he was not offering Caleb this in exchange for anything. Caleb had every molecule of his care and consideration, he did not need to offer anything up in exchange, except that Essek could orbit around that artificial sun that was Caleb's smile. He glanced off to the side, it was flicker, some unreadable emotion for a moment catching hold like a lightning bug. ]

You have promised that while we are here, we will have each other's backs, that is fine. As well as conversations with you, like this.

[ He liked this, having a drink with the other wizard as if things like this were normal; not having to worry about eyes on them or teasings. Just the luxury of Caleb's company that was offered freely ]

I may have grown up a rich boy from the Dynasty, but moments like these are rare for me and I.. like them.

[action]

[beigeacademia]

[After this conversation with Essek, Elias starts looking out for Caleb’s presence in the library. It probably doesn’t take long. The next time he sees Caleb visit the library and settle in a spot he’ll wave at the guy, and sail over before Caleb gets too engrossed in his books.]

Hey. Winter solstice, are you going to be spending it with Essek? It’s a good time for some festivities, but it’s also a good time with just one’s loved ones.

[He could have asked what Caleb was going to read today, but to be honest if he did he would probably get distracted by said books.]

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb is happy enough to pause in his mission to lose himself in books again when he sees Elias heading over, lifting a hand in a friendly enough greeting.]

I... hadn't considered specifically, but the solstice is fast approaching, isn't it? I mean, ja, of course, I imagine I'll spend it with Essek.

[Because that's how he wants to spend most of his time if he's being honest with himself.]

If he's amenable.

[beigeacademia]

Wouldn't he be? You seem close.

[Elias stops next to Caleb’s table, leaning against it (or if Caleb is at a low table on a sofa, he'll instead lean against the back of the sofa). Sort of a casual “fellow researcher makes idle chitchat as they pass by” pose. He feels like if he sits down on the next chair things would be suddenly more serious.]

What're your thoughts on marriage? [As if to make things More Casual, he adds quickly-] -as in, in general?

[ausgebrannt]

We are, yes. Very.

[Don't mind his happy little smile at saying this. It's subtle. But the man is smitten and he's fooling no one about it.]

But he is also a busy man, and I would not want to monopolize all his time I--

[Caleb will stop talking as Elias leans oh so subtly and instead look at him in confusion at the next subject.]

I... believe it is an important institution in society? [What a terrible answer, Caleb. But he's not sure where this is going and awkward is his natural state of being.]

[beigeacademia]

Okay, so you're open to it!

[No not really, but if other scholars can massage the statistics so can he! Elias nods, encouraged.]

Because I was just- well, we were just thinking, springtime’s auspicious for a wedding. No, sorry, other people are hoping for one in general, springtime’s lucky where I come from. My wife I had planned for a spring wedding too, if I remember correctly.

[fnejcnfndjffjfjd that was a big fumble but he thinks he saved it. Gods, why did he agree to this, why didn't Essek get Blake to do this or something.]

I mean- you don't have to, in fact if you think it's not the time that's alright. I'll go… tell the well-wishers to knock it off. [He's also assuming these “other people who want a wedding” exist? But judging from the attention Essek’s network post got, one would reasonably assume people ship it. It's basically a courtesy to clue Caleb in. ] But it's of my opinion that he surely won't be as busy here as he will be when you return home. If there's ever a place for one to consider what their desires would look like if feasibility were no issue, wouldn't it be here?

Call it a thought experiment, if you will.

[ausgebrannt]

I...

[Oh. Oh wait. Hang on what now. Is that where this is going? Caleb is going to be staring, a bit wide-eyed, pale skin turning several shades redder.]

There are... well-wishers?

[No wait that is not the point here. Caleb lifts a hand as if he can erase that question. Because way more important is the idea of marriage to Essek and not just the general idea of matrimony as an abstract concept?

He is just going to look down at the book currently open under his hand because now he's feeling oddly shy. But he'll answer honestly.]

I would marry Essek Thelyss in the spring. Or summer. Or five minutes from now in the line for the book return, if that is what he wished.

[He hesitates.] But I am not sure I deserve something quite so precious. And he is an elf, and I am only human. [...Caleb Widogast refuses to believe he deserves good things, news at 11.]

[beigeacademia]

Mhm.

[Elias, expression calm, slides his gaze automatically away from Caleb’s face and to the books on the table when he hears the other man floundering. He's gone through this Awkward Relationship Questions rodeo, so it's not so terrifying to him as it had been the first time. Well, it helps to be on the outside too.]

Well… we are a fairly tight-knit group here, and a strong mutual affection is something no one would not root for, as it were.

If, one …well, from what I've heard Essek say- I mean, from how he speaks of you- I get the sense he wants… it? Or at least he wouldn't mind. I can't speak on what you ‘deserve’, but I think… making your partner happy can't be a shameful thing.

[He doesn't show it, but all cylinders are firing in his brain right now as he multitasks talking deeply about love and also OH, ESSEK DEFINITELY WOULD WISH TO MARRY YOU, MY FRIEND. BUT HOW DO I TELL YOU? HOW DO I TELL YOU WITHOUT TELLING YOU!?!]

-why don't I ask him for you? Then you'll know for sure.

[Elias pulls his Oracle device out. Both to “ask” Essek, and because he's fighting a losing battle against the impulse to report back to the drow now. Technically, they could get married today at the book return! That's what Caleb said!]

[ausgebrannt]

I suppose that is true, isn't it? We are very much stuck in this together. It is good if any of us can find a bit of peace and happiness here.

[And Caleb has found that and more. He's confident that he and Essek are on a similar course on the road they are walking back in Exandria too, but they found each other so fully here. He's grateful for that.

He peeks back up at Elias then, surprised by with a pathetically smitten and hopeful little look on his face. He's down so bad, Elias. And he's never been good at hiding his emotions, despite his best attempts.]

Do you think so?

[That's a hell of a thought. Caleb will sit with that one for a while and oh no apparently he won't because--]

Ah what? No that's... you can't just ask him that so plainly. He'll have questions. And I... I would want to do this right. He deserves that much. I am sure there are customs and traditions among the Kryn around matrimony, though I do not know what they are.

[beigeacademia]

Yes, I think so!

[Elias looks back at Caleb earnestly. He supports being down bad! He understands the feeling. And as a fellow wizard who is down bad for another “this was going to be a villain before you friendshipped them so hard” character intellectual, he wants Caleb to succeed.

Wait no he's here to help Essek- oh gods this is confusing.]

Okay. You'll broach the topic with him, then? What's the plan? [Elias palms the phone, and finally takes a seat next to Caleb so he can drop his voice co-conspiratorially.] To be honest, I haven't heard him talk about his cultural traditions like he wants to replicate them here, but we shouldn't guess at this kind of thing.

[ausgebrannt]

[Aggressively friendshipped reformed villains really do hit differently.

But right the plan. Oh god the plan. He considers for a moment, mind racing a bit.]

I... yes. I will. Should the plan be subtlety? A casual inquiry about what marriage and wedding looks like within the Dynasty? Or should I be more plain about the reason for my curiosity?

[Oh god Elias help him. He's spent these past years believing himself an irredeemable monster, he has not considered things like love and marriage they were not on his vision board.]

[beigeacademia]

[They're wizards, Caleb! Like 90% of them have a kill count!! There are probably multiple Trent-ian archmages out there terrorizing adventurers and adventurers-to-be, and compared to them, yeah Elias would much rather attend Caleb and Essek’s wedding than those guys’.]

Both have their positives to me... you know Essek better, you should decide what feels best. As long as you have a plan and know what you're doing going into that conversation.

Maybe come up with some ideas too in case he asks you right back what you want. [He takes out a notebook and pen. The wizard’s best emotional crutch.] Stuff like, do you want a big or small wedding or even no ceremony? Do you want formal dress? Or generally, if he asks “what kind of wedding would you want” what would you say?

Winter's Crest gift

[dedoink]

[ Grog was running low on ideas for what to get his friends for Winter's Crest this year... So, he decided to turn The Cask & Anvil tavern into his one-stop-shop for gifts.

Left outside Caleb and Essek's door with a ribbon haphazardly tied around each neck, and a note in nearly illegible handwriting reading HAPY WINTRS KREST FRUM GROG, are two bottles of liquor. Hopefully it'll be obvious which one is for which wizard. ]

[ INBOX - ACTION ]

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek knew that there were traditions that were inherent during this time of the year, and of course he had also researched that thoughtful gifts were generally the norm. He'd wracked his mind for things that he could do for Caleb Widogast, his now Fiancé. The man did not need very much to be happy it would appear; a cat, a warm cup of something, a nice scarf and a book to read.

And friends.

Essek Thelyss had been curiously absent all day. He'd used the excuse that he had some last minute commissions to work on. But he hadn't, not really. He'd been in the kitchen downstairs working on something-- he'd heard Caleb enthuse about the apple tarts at the Stone Dragon however, he'd also lamented that they were not quite like the ones his mother made. And so Essek had rolled up his sleeve and endeavored to do something that was meaningful. Maybe he could try? And thus he spent a solid couple of hours with Pike to learn, except these tarts were for the most part unassisted.

Pike had been there to make sure he had not committed some fatal error.

And so Essek could feel his heart in his throat as he saw what lay on the table. They were not the prettiest tarts at all, they certainly were not the uniform tarts that came out of the Stone Dragon-- these had little points where the cinnamon sugar had caramelized and dripped out the side, the edges were not even and they looked a mess. He had almost chucked them because they did not look like he thought they should look, perfect and precise.

And yet he ascended the steps with them on a tray with a cup of Glühwein, he would offer apologies if needed-- he had backup gifts, something that Caleb probably would find useful. And so, as Essek stepped through the door, he felt himself close to tears-- with gravity, he shut the door behind him and then he cleared his throat.

He looked about as much as a mess as the tarts, his hair rumbled from the heat in the kitchen, his sleeves rolled up and specks of flour on his nose and cheeks; he'd not even the presence of mind to clean up before. ] I made you something, for the season.

[ And quickly. ] It's not the only thing and if they are terrible, I understand.

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb looked up from the book that he had been bent over at the sound of Essek stepping inside. Before he even turned to look at the other man, the soft scent of apples and cinnamon caught his attention, registering at the back of his mind with a breathless ache of home.

Then he turned and saw Essek in full, the flour smeared across a cheek, the tray in his hands. His eyes went wide as his thoughts raced to put together what he was looking at, the pieces clicking in together all at once.

So the only response at all Essek would get for a long moment was Caleb staring at him in wonder as tears gathered and fell from wide blue eyes.]

Apple tarts.

[zauberdecke]

Ah yes...

[ He set the tray down on the desk beside Caleb, and could feel his own wrist tremble in such a way that bespoke of a fair bit of nerves, and then he took a half a step back and surveyed the plate that held the slightly misshapen tarts full of character if not beauty.

And then he saw Caleb looking up at him, with tears and suddenly his heart understood gravity's insistence as his lungs and heart took a slamming nosedive down into his solar-plexus in what could only be construed of as panic. Were they really.. he did not know how to interpret those tears. ] They are not perfect, I know.. they are not the pretty ones that are made at the Stone Dragon.

[ He covered half of his face with his apron, for he was still wearing an apron. Pike had assured him that the tarts would be perfect, had said that they tasted perfect, but he could not get over the aesthetic of it. ]

Pike ah.. told me that they tasted alright-- if you are not put off by what a mess they look?

[ausgebrannt]

They are better than perfect. You are better than perfect.

[Perfect was an illusion. The tarts, Essek, they were real. Warm and sweet and earnest and Caleb stood before closing that half step that Essek had taken away from him to pull the drow into his arms, to nuzzle and then kiss at a floured cheek.

Another nuzzle, another kiss, urging him to drop the apron.]

They smell like home used to. I'd nearly forgotten...

[But oh the memory had come rushing back.]

I am going to eat the entire tray if I am not stopped. But first I need to kiss you or I will burst.

[zauberdecke]

[ And Essek was almost ashamed of himself for the sudden urge to cry; he had never before been beset by such a confusing miasma of differing feelings-- of the urge to cry out of relief, but also the subtle fear that he would fall short when all he wanted to do right now at this moment was make Caleb smile. He was quickly drawn into Caleb's arms, and he certainly not stop him. LIkewise, the apron fell from his clasped hands as he was kissed and assured.

His arms wrapped around Caleb's waist and he looked up into those eyes, and to his own unstopped vulnerable self, he was teary and that was going to further track flour and turn it into sticky salt on his face. ]

I will not stop you but also I would like you to eat one, just to you know make sure that you like them.

[ He wanted to promise Caleb that he would get better on them, but he could not quite get the words out especially when Caleb looked so perfectly accepting of all of his flaws. It was such dissonance to be with someone who did not expect perfection of him ] I would also like a kiss.. very much.

[ Let's be real, to soothe the nerves that he himself had riled up ]

[ausgebrannt]

[That vulnerability was a gift itself, just as precious as the tarts. Those arms came around him and Caleb tightened his hold around his lover. Another kiss to his cheek even as the apron fell away.]

Good.

[Then kissing it would be. He found those lips and kissed him, gentle and achingly tender. He followed it up with another. Then another.]

Every time I think it is not possible for me to love you more than I already do, I am proven wrong. This is... the sweetest thing that anyone has done for me.

[A pause and he added, amusement creeping into his voice.] And you are adorable, smudged and disheveled. I want to eat you up as much as the tarts.

[zauberdecke]

[ Kiss after kiss which he accepted. Each pitter-patter of lips like rain against his own and such molecular tenderness and he was caught, the breath managing to leave his lungs for greener pastures, but he was glad that Caleb loved them, even more so that the Transmutation wizard loved him and was that not a miracle in and of itself.

If Caleb never stopped kissing him, he'd have no complaints whatsoever.

When he spoke next, he was breathless and charmed all the same. He would never know how much this bore resemblance to Caleb's own parents, that they were shaping up to give Caleb a piece of home back, and the apple tarts were only an base component in the algorithm of a shared life between two flawed men. ]

I may have to sit on your lap and feed you a tart piece by piece, so that you actually get around to eating one. [ Because he was already imagining Caleb Widogast eating him up which caused him to grow unseasonably warm, which could likely be felt as it spiked in the skin underneath Caleb's lips. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Oh, oh now that was an idea, wasn't it? It meant that he could have his cake and eat it too, so to speak. So he tightened his arms around Essek before taking a step back and dropping himself back into his chair. He pulled the drow with him, directly into his lap because that was too good a notion to pass up.

From this new position, he had to lean up just slightly to steal the next kiss.]

This sounds like the perfect idea, ja. I do want to taste them.

[And here he was, bright eyed and eager. Feed him, Essek.

It hadn't occurred to Caleb yet that he was finding himself swept up into a romance that was so much like his parents' had been, warm and strong, as natural as each breath he took into his lungs and just as vital for his continued existence.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek was a prisoner, but not an unwilling one. He knew that if he attempted to struggle out, Caleb would release him.. the thing was, Essek did not want to and so backwards they both went until Essek was perched on Caleb's lap, effectively sitting between Caleb and his reach to the desk. That meant that there was no choice but for Caleb to be fed from his fingertips.

He smiled against the kiss, a smile that showed his teeth, perfect and straight aside from those sharpened incisors, and the smile reached his eyes while he steadied himself and allowed for more sweet kisses from down below. ] Very well then, Herr Widogast..

[ There was that telling plum flush that rose high on his cheeks as he reached over to take up a tart and then effectively picking up one. Thankfully, the tart was cool enough not to burn but it still was a bit drippy as it managed to leave a cinnamon apple trail against his palm; he tried to ignore that as he broke off the corner of one. ] If you do not like it, you will tell me.. I do not want you to pretend that they are delightful when they really are not, promise me?

[ He was offering the piece then, holding it up and in perfect nomming range of Caleb's lips. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Of course Caleb would have released him at even the slightest hint of protest, but he was happy that none came. Essek in his arms and in his lap was a delightful situation, and the Zemnian wizard was quite pleased with himself at the moment. Even more delightful was that smile on Essek's face.

He managed a faintly sheepish smile of his own as the drow called out the fact that yes, even if they had tasted like cinnamon flavored charcoal, Caleb would have happily eaten every last one because sentiment was far more powerful in him than he would have wanted to really admit to himself.]

Ja, I will. Not to worry.

[He did not hesitate to take that piece from Essek's fingers, deliberately catching at those fingertips with his teeth just briefly before he leaned back to actually chew and taste the pastry.

There would be no need for pretense of anything though -- and no faking that widening of his eyes before they softened into a smile.]

They are wonderful. They taste like a memory. Thank you, Liebling. This is...

[The sweetest thing he can remember someone doing for him. He lifts a hand to catch Essek's wrist in his own, bringing that hand close so he can help with that sticky trail of apple cinnamon, dragging his tongue along skin slowly and deliberately.]

[zauberdecke]

[ The widening of the eyes told the truth, the soft smile and he found himself melting into relief against Caleb's torso as he rested his forehead against the side of Caleb's head while he hoped that his shoulder was not digging into his fiancé's collarbone; Caleb enjoyed them, that had been the goal of course, to give Caleb something from memory; and he closed his eyes. ]

You deserve this, I wanted to do something for you and I promise that you will have a lifetime filled with apple tarts.

[ That was when he felt Caleb's hand close around his wrist and then his hand was moved-- he expected a kiss to the wrist and instead-- the slow drag of tongue against his palm, his eyes darted open and a surge of heat propelled through him at the slide of tongue though he could not stop himself from watching it, feeling the faint sticky trail of saliva. ]

You are very helpful yes, I suppose this means you want another bite?

[ausgebrannt]

I do not deserve you, but I am not fool enough to let such a treasure go.

[Caleb would try to be worthy of being loved like this, and would try to love Essek as he deserved. And Essek deserved so much. This man who had taken a small fragment of the childhood memories that Caleb kept so carefully, preciously tucked away in his mind and brought it to him in the flesh. Warm and sweet and tasting like simpler times.

He couldn't hide the mischief that lit his eyes as he was fully aware Essek was watching him as he licked that drip of sugared syrup clean.]

I do try to be a helper, ja. And yes. Please. Sehr bitte mit Zucker obendrauf. [Pretty please with sugar on top. He thought he was clever.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek knew that he had to work on Caleb's self-worth, but that nonchalant way of speaking consistently surprised him, especially when he saw how everyone within the Nein adored the other wizard, the enrichment that he brought to everyone's life on account of just being. His eyes were soft as he regarded Caleb and then after breaking off the next piece of tart, two fingers went just underneath that chin and then he tilted the other man's head so that he could look up into his eyes.

Brows furrowed, the drow was trying not to be distracted by thoughts of whatever else Caleb could lick off, especially with that mischief held like flames within those eyes. ]

You are being an incorrigible brat.

[ He said this simply before he pressed the apple tart to that mouth, to lightly shove while he tsk'd in a manner most chastising. ] Of course you deserve me, there is simply no doubt that you do; you have domesticated a war criminal and that is a feat in and of itself. [ He smirked then and it may have been ridiculous with the flour splattered in key positions on his visage. ]

If we had our own kitchen, you could be a helper for me.. I would wear only an apron for you; that is if you are a good boy.

[ausgebrannt]

And an unrepentant one, ja.

[Caleb agreed in that moment before he was wonderfully rewarded for said bratty behavior by that next bite of tart. He only smiled as he chewed, though his expression softened as Essek spoke.]

Have you been domesticated, mein Sternenlicht? I wonder if such brilliant, beautiful creature can really be so easily tamed. [A gentle tease before he found himself reflexively tightening his arms around Essek at that thoroughly mind-shattering image.]

...I can make us our own kitchen. I need one minute and my components pouch. [And then, because really, those words spoke to something in him like a match had been struck to dry kindling.] I will always be a good boy for you.

[zauberdecke]

[ Had he been domesticated, really?

He had to think about that question that had been poised to him by Caleb Widogast. He had not been domesticated, not really. There would always be a part of himself that kept at a distance from others, especially strangers. Instinct to look down at them and from afar like a cat who was judging their existence silently.

But around Caleb he was different. ]

I do not think tamed so much as I happen to have a person of my own that I will allow to pet me?

[ He used that opportunity to brush his lips against Caleb's jawline, feeling the warm rough scratch of facial hair while he tightened his arms around those shoulders. ] I think that I am a one person cat however, I do not want any other person except for you.

[ He would deign to have pets from Jester and those that he would allow to sit with him in comfortable silence, but as far as intimacy-- Caleb was the only one he wanted. ] I am intrigued though by a kitchen of our own, Chathtiu.

[ausgebrannt]

[Well, he could certainly live with that, with being the only person that got to see this more intimate side of Essek, to be the only one that his beautiful fiance truly purred for. Was it surprising that he'd found himself drawn to a man with such feline tendencies? Nope, not in the slightest.

His eyes fluttered as those lips brushed at his jaw.]

Then I am a very lucky person, ja? To have charmed such a precious cat.

[He found himself not wanting anyone other than Essek, after all. And he'd certainly been in less... monogamous relationships before, but there was something different about this. The love, the draw, that he felt for Essek Thelyss was consuming, flooded his whole heart and he knew that the drow was the only one he wanted, would want.

A quiet laugh and he looked up to him.]

A kitchen, a dining room, whatever suits you, Liebling. We'll have all the privacy in the world. And every sort of apron you could imagine.

[zauberdecke]

[ Perched as he was on Caleb's lap, he shifted only a little bit so that he could straddle Caleb and then he settled there, all the while he was fingering the edge of his apron strings in a very suggestive manner while he raised one elegant brow. So perhaps he did not look entirely seductive with the smudge of powdered sugar on his cheek, but there was a playfulness about him that was not given to just anyone.

If Caleb did not want himself-- this cat would likely walk all over him, especially with those dainty drow feet, with those nails painted a starry solar-system black to compliment the purple tones of his skin. ]

I will need an assistant in the kitchen, and perhaps if you are very good, I will give you a special treat to get your mouth on.. [ And Essek's cheeks flushed even as he attempted to keep himself composed and seductive, the darker shade of plum on his cheeks though were the only giveaway that he had made a very intriguing innuendo. ]

[ holiday delivery! ]

[fromshadows]

[ Caleb will find several presents sitting outside his door, wrapped in black wrapping paper with purple bows. The first is a collection of books on magic that Blake has found from other worlds, their blurbs promising all sorts of bizarre ideas like slime magic, star magic, and atomic enchantments. The second is a little box of snacks from the local bakery; pastries and chocolates and cookies all neatly arranged. ]

Gift Delivery (backdated 12/25)

[anything_grows]

[ A small box arrives for Caleb in the morning, and inside are a set of dried flower bookmarks, and a simple note. ]

Happy Holidays, Caleb!

- Willow

Action

[likemybooks]

[Within week of settling into his new home, Taryon recalls that he was asked to get along with their Wildemount neighbors - Essek and the ginger guy. Caleb. He was able to meet with the drow for tailoring requests, but he had yet to properly introduce himself to the Zemnian. This cannot stand.

Taryon knocks on Caleb's door one afternoon, a plate of fresh blondies in his hand, and adjusts his shirt collar and hair. Vex said that she hoped they'd get along, but what they had in common, Taryon couldn't tell.

Time to find out.]

[ausgebrannt]

[Taryon will hear a quiet, clearly Zemnian-accented voice from inside.]

Just a moment...

[And then Caleb will appear at the door, a pure white cat twining about his legs and looking up in curiosity at their visitor. The wizard looks from Taryon to the blondies and then back. He recognizes the blond man, though he's been led to expect that this Taryon did not share those memories, of the place before this one. So he smiles, a faint, small, awkward, but earnest thing.]

Slayer's Cake is delivering now? I do not have coin to tip...

[Haha he's funny. He steps back, opening the door wider.] You must be Taryon. Please, come in.

[likemybooks]

[Caleb seems to be on the shy side, but Taryon's dazzling smile and great looks will put him at ease. Tary regards the cat with a fond look - even if he prefers dogs - and nods.]

The one and only. No need to worry about the delivery charge. This one's on the house. [He snakes through the opening and enters Caleb's room one foot at a time, expertly leaving the plate of pastries level as he moved. Inside, he waited by the entrance, taking in the surroundings and getting a read on this stranger's room.]

: action :

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek perhaps is only a little nervous, sitting there in the rather quiet recieving room of Valsharess, and he is holding a box in his hand. He knew it was customary for gifts to be exchanged and likewise he had thought about what he wanted to give Caleb as a wedding gift. There were a great many things that he could've chosen but that which was nestled in the box was something that he thought was meaninful even if it was a little bit ridiculous.

He was waiting for Caleb to pick him up, it was after all just as customary for his betrothed to drop by and escort him back to the castle, indulging him in those little rites of courtship that he'd deigned not to engage with Adeen (he'd at the time rather not give Adeen any sort of encouragement).

The clock on the wall ticked, just minutes away from Caleb walking through the Connecting door that led from Slayer's Bake. His lover was as constant and he'd grown to expect such things, though he was perennially always delighted with them. ]

Re: : action :

[ausgebrannt]

[Punctuality was indeed one of Caleb's better qualities. It helped that he looked forward to it, to coming to retrieve essek from the shop and walk back to their home together. It was courtship, yes, and he relished in that part of it, in how normal and natural their relationship was. They existed in perfect orbit with one another, their own little galaxy made of magic and spells and cats and the small domestic luxuries, cook and dinner, sharing a warm blanket, the sound of Essek softly humming as his trance took him.

Caleb appeared through the door with a smile. It was warm enough that he'd foregone any sort of coat or scarf. His hair was pulled back and up, more hastily done bun that ponytail, and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows.]

Sorry if I've kept you waiting, Liebling. [Was it his imagination or did his lover look a bit on edge? A tilt of his head as he made his way closer.]

Are you ready to head home?

Re: : action :

[zauberdecke]

I am~

[ Essek did not rise from the couch, a purple confection that was warmly fuzzed and soft-- but of course Caleb would know exactly how soft it was for general reasons. Instead he patted his hand lightly against the cushion with a rather arch smile. ] Perhaps you should come join me for a space of time? I have something that I would like to give to you..

[ There was a rather suspicious little box in Essek's hand, because of course there was. He had a very tender and gentle expression on his face, and it was not one that everyone was able to see. After all, the Ice Queen melted for no one but their Fire King-- was that not correct? ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Oh yes Caleb knew exactly how soft this couch was. Intimately familiar with it. Of course, it was not quite so plush and soft as a certain drow's skin, but that was not the current point.

He saw that smile then. Not tension though. Good. His gaze did catch on the small box in his hands, and then found and lingered on that beautiful face and the soft expression that he knew Essek did not show the world at large. It was an honor he would never take for granted that it was shown to him.

Caleb wasted no time in taking a seat next to the other wizard, lifting a hand to brush calloused fingertips along a cheek.]

Something to give me? Now I curious.

[zauberdecke]

[ The drow could not help but feel the whisper of shivers at the touch, the way that calloused fingers surrendered such trust to his skin-- he closed his eyes for a moment, much like a cat would. In such a way, him and Kyorli shared the same sort of tendency to rub up against people that they liked. And in both cases, it was rare.

Very carefully then he slipped the box between the two of them, letting Caleb take it as he wished. ]

It is a tradition for the giving of a M'hrandii gifts-- you do not have to adhere to it, which is why I did not tell you-- but I wanted to give you something, as a remembrance of our first meeting. [ When Caleb opened the box, he would find laying in a little swathe of purple silk, a set of cufflinks; they would pair rather nicely on Caleb's wedding outfit and one could almost think that they would be Luxon shaped.

But surprisingly, they were not.

Instead, there were little cufflinks in the shape of cat paws-- suspiciously looking like the Cat's Ire that Caleb had cast that first time, the first time that Essek had been charmed and decided to teach the other Wizard Dynasty Secrets. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[In the short time it took for his fingers to brush along that cheek, Caleb distracted himself enough to forget that there was a gift in favor of suddenly wanting to kiss Essek until the drow was breathless.

But he was reminded when his fiancé spoke. Ah right.]

There is a tradition of gifts in the Empire as well.

[Caleb admitted, and he had one for Essek. Of course he had. He had just not been certain when it was best to give it to him. And he was a bit shy about it. That could wait though, Caleb noted, as he reached out to take the box. A glance from it to Essek and back and he opened it.

His eyes caught on the cufflinks, immediately noticing the shape of them -- very on brand for Caleb Widogast, yes.]

Our first meeting.... [He echoed softly before his expression melted, too much affection to contain.] Cat's Ire, ja? The start of everything.

[Who could have known it would lead to this? Caleb leaned up close to prses a kiss to Essek's cheek.]

I love them. They are beautiful.

[zauberdecke]

I am glad that you like them.

[ The drow then leaned forward and brushed his lips very gently against the soft bristle of beard, and it was a sweet sort of tribute meant to convey how much affection he held for the other man. ] A man full of talent, I could not help but be intrigued by such a vibrant and curious mind with such a colourful repertoire of spells.

[ And that had only been the beginning for Essek Thelyss, Shadowhand of the Bright Queen. ] Sehr gut-- I am glad that you are pleased with then, they were custom made for me and I hope that you will wear them when we get married.

[ And was there a trifle hint of shyness to Essek at the statement, as if fearing (unnecessarily) that Caleb would not wear them. ]

[ausgebrannt]

Colorful, ja, that seems right.

[A laugh and he turned towards that kiss to nuzzle at Essek's cheek in turn, all affection now. He felt like he might overflow with tenderness, might come apart at the seams with how much he loved the other wizard.]

Whatever it was that caught your attention, it is the luckiest

Of course I will wear them at our wedding. And anytime I have a chance to in the future.

[They were going to become a staple of his outfits when he had cause to dress up even a little, because they would remind him of Essek, of that first meeting.]

Thank you, my love.

[He ran a finger over the clever little paw-shaped cufflinks before carefully closing the box. Precious things must be kept safe.]

Shall I give you your gift now as well?

[zauberdecke]

[ There was a soft acknowledgement that came in the form of pleasure, the smile that could barely contain itself, but for intents and purposes it was so quiet, and part and parcel of the slowly spreading joy that the other wizard made him feel. He felt full with it, and also extremely content with his lot in life.

He had once spoken that he wouldn't change a thing, and that doubly was the case.

Despite it all, it was still difficult for him to accept gifts even if they were wedding gifts but he knew that it would be thoughtful and something that he loved, because it came from the heart of this incandescent man that he loved so very much-- the glowing fire that was his man. Some people called fire destructive, and perhaps it was- but it was also healing, and transmutative. ]

If you wish to give me a gift, I would gladly recieve it but also I am also patient, cultivated by 121 years.

[ausgebrannt]

So you are. But I am not so patient. Perhaps that is my human nature.

[Caleb couldn't help but find it appropriate that Essek had mentioned his 121 years just now. He slipped a hand into a pocket and drew forth a simple little pouch, a soft lavender color, cinched closed with a string, and held it out to Essek.]

It's of my own making...

[He explained, as if wanting to explain why perhaps it was not the most glamorous of gifts. When Essek opened the pouch he would find a pendant on a delicate silver chain. Looking closer he'd undoubtedly be able to tell it was amber, and likely feel the residual frisson of a spell that had been encapsulated within it. This was a manifestation of Widogast's Vault of Amber, and even closer inspection would reveal the ghostly outline of what at this size looked like a time-frozen storm of confetti.]

And it is both a gift for now, and one for, hopefully, many years from now. Because I am human, there will come a day when I am not here to tell you everything you mean to me, how much I love you, how remarkable you are. So... I took the liberty of writing these for you, to hold while I am here and have when I am gone.

[He'd penned love letter after love letter. Some stumbling, since he would never be a poet, but earnest and heartfelt. Page after page after page, written, collected, and preserved within the spell of this Amber Vault.]

The word to release them, when that day comes, is Sternenlicht.

[zauberdecke]

[ Not a glamourous gift?

Oh no, he could tell the papers were but a firestorm, the way that they hovered in amber like little flecks caught within-- and his fingers closed around them reflexively to capture whatever warmth lay in that pendant, with his own cool temperate palm. Simple cufflinks, simple cufflinks when Caleb had given him a wealth of words. He could feel emotion capturing within and then a soft little hiccup, even as he leaned forward and bumped his head against shoulder, because he could not do anything else. ]

I've had enough of glamour in my life, my favor has been courted with so many gifts-- but none can compare to the sweetness with which I find this. [ Upwards, Essek looked at Caleb's profile then; the wizard would be able to see tears there, sweet and nearly ridiculous tears.

It would hurt when one day he had to read those letters, but it would be a reminder that it was worth it. ] You know, you I expect you to steal this pendant from me, so that you will pen many more letters to me.. I will want to keep reading those letters until my own life ends and I'm able to ah.. join you?

[ A smile, it was not a sad smile-- it was a 'I will love you forever' smile, and there was not a whole lot that Caleb could do to circumvent it. ]

Also those cuff links feel rather insignificant compared to the wealth you've given me this day. [ and yes, there were tears sparkling now in those eyes, from eyes that were not used to it-- but here was Caleb making all things possible in the name of love. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb turned his head to press a kiss through soft white waves as Essek leaned against him before looking down to him. There was no missing that little sheen of tears, and for the first moment there was a surge of worry, but no they seemed to be the kind of tears that came with joy and sweetness.

He lifted a hand to cup against a cheek gently, thumb caressing along the sharp angle of a cheekbone.]

Ja. There will be many more love letters added over the years. There will have to be. I keep discovering more things I adore in you, more ways to love you. I will have to add to the letters to be complete.

[He shook his head at the comment about the cufflinks.] Nonsense. They are perfect, a reminder and a symbol of the first time our minds met. The day my life changed for the better, even if I couldn't have known just how much at the time.

[zauberdecke]

[ The way that Caleb spoke this so sweetly, he could envision it but not in truly great detail; he did not know that life would bring them a Pearl Beyond Measure or that one day they would walk through Rexxentrum with Essek in a disguise used to assist in allowing them a normal life.

But no matter, he knew whatever it was-- it would be a sweeter boon then he had no right feeling. ] I promise you, Caleb Widogast that I will love you with all my heart, you will never doubt a single moment.

[ He looked up at Caleb then, the thumb against his cheek and those warm island eyes, and then he huffed a little bit and buried himself further into those arms because there was no place that he'd rather be-- the future was never something he'd anticipated but he wanted that future with this man. ]

I had pondered the Luxon symbols but ah, I think we have had enough of Beacons in our lives..

[ There was a beat and a pause ] Well, except for the one that I still possess.

[ It was rather amazing what one could hide in a pocket dimension-- undetected. ]

[ausgebrannt]

And that is the greatest gift that anyone has ever been given.

[And somehow it was given to him. It was rather amazing really, and he would not give it up now. He couldn't. Part of him still held that pang of guilt at the knowledge that he would grow old while Essek remained in the prime of his life, but they'd had that talk, and they were both in too deep at this point.

His arm settled around Essek securely, happy to hold him close. A quiet huff of laughter, and he nodded.]

Ja. Except for that one. And the top floor of my tower. More than enough Beacons.

[He teased and leaned in to press a kiss to Essek's temple, apparently in the sort of mood where lavishing affection on his fiancé was his top priority.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Yes, they had Beacons-- and wasn't that something that had brought them together at the start? That intrepid Empire man who stated he was of the Empire but no friend of theirs? Well they had both changed quite a bit and he rather looked forward to how else they would change going forward in the future.

He ducked his forehead so that a kiss could be levied against the skin, enjoying the contact for exactly what it was-- a testament to love, and if Essek was being honest; the forehead kisses were his favorite, a reminder of one of the greatest turning points in his life. ]

Now, is my young man going to walk me back to the castle? Its been a long day and you would not believe the amount of garments I am making so that people can attend our wedding in style.

[ A laugh even as he reached to place his hand in Caleb's, trust-- always trust ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb leaned back with a smile, smitten through and through, but he stood up and offered a hand out to the other wizard, curling his fingers around Essek's and gently pulling the drow to his feet.]

Ja. Let me take you home, Liebling. You've been working hard. Perhaps you'll let me pamper you a bit tonight, mm?

[He had a few ideas for that, and some of it was self indulgent, the excuse to be close and touch his fiance, to spoil him a little. Maybe more than a little if he was lucky.]

[zauberdecke]

Then let us go, Caleb Widogast.

[ Essek said this with a smile as he accepted that hand, placing their hands together with fingers entwined and then giving it a squeeze of such simple encouragement and trust that Caleb would never lead him astray-- unless astray was a euphemism for something else entirely. In which case his fiance could lead him as much astray as he desired.

There would be no complaints whatsoever. ]

A nice meal, a long bath and most assuredly a firm cuddle is quite in order, I suppose you could say it is a part of my demands.

[ausgebrannt]

Ah. What luck. All of those are in the plan.

[He lifted their joined hands up, until he could press a kiss to the back of Essek's knuckles, gentle and sweet and affectionate. He loved this complicated man so much. And he would happily lead him astray in only the best ways.]

You should be more demanding, I think.

[Demand away, Essek. Caleb was ready to give him anything and everything in his power to give.]

[zauberdecke]

I have seen how much you enjoy demands, Chathtiu--

[ It was then that Essek raised himself to his full floating height, his back straightening and a sideways glance thrown Caleb's way, but there was a tenderness that lurked just underneath the raise of that brow, perhaps it was in the crease at the corner of that eye that determined a smile. ]

A Dynasty adage states that behind every Kryn is someone who is set in place to give them exactly what they want, and with very little in the way of a smart mouth.

[ A huff as he watched Caleb kiss the back of his knuckles. ] Though I do love your clever mouth--

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb couldn't help a laugh as he was full on called out by his fiancé. He lifted his chin to look up at the other wizard in his float.]

Have you noticed that? Only when they're from you, Liebling.

[He'd gone and fallen head over heels and then heels over head for this man. He let his lips linger against those knuckles before letting their hands fall between them.]

Let's go home, and I will give you exactly what you want, including my clever mouth if that's on your mind.

[zauberdecke]

I want all of you, Chathtiu-- nothing else for me will do.

[ A secretly arch smile then, thinking of course of the ways in which that mouth could be of use. It was a smile that the Wizard would know well, it brought to mind memories of sweetness combined with heat, of companionship and yes also a wealth of things that the other man had quite simply unlocked within him. ] I will promise that my demands will only serve to your betterment, and our mutual satisfaction.

[ Essek was well aware of the trust that the wizard placed in his hands, and he would hold it tightly like a treasure, a pearl beyond price. ]

[Text] (before all hell broke loose)

[veththebrave]

Caleb! Did you see Molly?